The answer is Yes. But first, you are shocked, dismayed, and later angry. Don’t take all of this upon your own shoulders; it is a lot to carry! Here are some things you can do to find the help you need, and people you can talk to figure out your best approach.
There is hope for your relationship, only if both of you realize that you are heading down different paths. Your husband or boyfriend needs to realize his behavior is wrong & destructive to you & the marriage/relationship.
You can’t expect affirmation, affection, etc. from a husband/boyfriend who is not capable of giving this to you in his current condition & look to the Creator for your value solely, and surround yourself around caring people (friends & family).
Selfishness MUST be placed on the back burner.
The attention to each other has to occur in order to provide healing.
Pray for his heart to change & the selfishness to go away in his heart.
Your husband/boyfriend should pray that his wife/girlfriend’s needs will be met, and that he will begin to change.
When the relationship is as it is intended to be, he won’t need porn; and your self-esteem will return but is not dependent on him, and he needs to get professional help, by a professional counselor trained in sexual addictions.
He MUST get professional help, from a counselor who is a specialist in sexual addictions & who is trained to deal with it, otherwise the problem, will continue to pop up in your life. You (as his spouse) must also be included in the healing process & counseling. See the Resources page for referrals for counseling.
Addicts need to get involved in an environment, where they can be open about the problem & get guidance without shame. There are support groups that they can go to, and the counselor can refer them.
They will need accountability.
